Light at the end of the tunnel

After a rough start in August when we got moved to Rocklin, we have finally come to a point in our lives where we're seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Or at least I am... It's been 2 months of rough living, but we're starting to do better.

We moved into our new apartment which we call "home" the end of August. We had our Jeep break down 2 days after moving in. We had a mechanic working on our Jeep, who somehow blew the sensor for the oil light and didn't tell us. We found out we were low on oil the day after moving in, and put oil in that night. The next morning, Ian started driving to class and had a rod blow, which put a hole in the engine. We didn't owe anything on it, and had no money for a new engine, so we sold it to the shop that it was towed to.

Ian started back to school at Sierra College in August. He is finishing up his AA in Computer Tech. He will then take a semester off (I think), and go for his Bachelor's. He will be done with his AA in July, which is good since our lease is up in June. He had a rough start with his grades, but he's doing better week after week, and got a 90% on his first set of midterms. Finals are the first week in December, then he's off until January, when he'll go back for his 2nd Semester.

I was let go from Sears the end of September, at the end of my 60 days. I went back to the law firm in Lincoln, and I'm working 2 days a week there. It's not much, but it helps us out. I've also started doing Pampered Chef, which helps us out a lot. I LOVE the business and the products, and the commission is awesome too.

Here are some pictures of the girls from Halloween. I'll make sure to take pictures of our new place, and some new pictures of Ian and I with our weight loss. Those will probably be posted this weekend.

McKenna dressed as Tinkerbell, Hunter as Cinderella and Lucy as Silvermist. Lucy is Hunter's BEST FRIEND, and she lives upstairs from us.
McKenna smiling big for the camera.

Hunter smiling big for the camera before we left to go trick or treating.

Facebook status/my insomnia

I watch this show every week about a young couple who gave their daughter up for adoption, to give her a better life. They also have a semi-open adoption just like I do, and tonight's episode the boyfriend/fiancee was having trouble coping with the adoption and how to grieve properly. Their daughter is 1.5 and they've only seen her 1 time, as they were handing her over to her new parents outside of the hospital. They get pictures and e-mails just like I did, and they're 17 while I was 19, but still....

Watching him cry made me cry, and yet McKenna was asleep on my lap, Ian was in the bedroom, and Hunter was in her bed. I had no one to talk to. I sometimes wish that our next baby will be a boy, so I can see what I'm missing. I don't want to live my life thinking "what if... I would've kept Andrew", "what if....", but deep down I know I made the best decision. I gave Andrew 2 parents that could love him, and then created the opportunity for them to have a family of their own with their own biological kids, so I essentially was the missing piece to putting Kortnie and Kaitlyn in the family with David, Jami and Andrew. I was the missing piece to give David and Jami the gift of Andrew, after their loss of Kiley, and creating their lives and the births of Kortnie and Kaitlyn.

Deep down I know there's a son out there that will be born to Ian and I, that will help me to grieve, and help me to grow and heal after 5.5 years of not having a chance to. I don't regret my decision to place Andrew with David & Jami, cuz I know they have given him more than I could've even tried to give him being a single mom. I just wonder... when is my time??? When is Heavenly Father going to give me a second chance to raise a son of our own/my own?? One that I can take home from the hospital, one that I can raise with Ian, one that will be Ian and mine, not someone else's??? Will that ever happen????

And on to another crying fit, so I can't type anymore. I'm sorry if I put any of you to tears, I guess I just have a lot in my head and a lot going on. We have a move that we're not financially ready for, but we know it's for the best of us, we have a marriage without temple recommends (and who knows when bishop will feel like we're ready for them), we haven't been to the temple in AGES... like 3 years...., and yet that's the thing that I need the most right now, and I can't even have it....

I want the best for our girls, and I want us to be out of this financial hole that we're in. I want to be OFF assistance, both from the church and the state, and yet every time I'm ready to cut them off, something happens and we're right back on it.... will this ever end??? Will I survive tomorrow, with having to get up in 7 hours for work, and then a day of packing, shopping and more packing, and oh yeah, dealing with 2 kids that get into everything??? Will Ian and I ever go to the temple??? Will Ian and I ever have a son??? Will we ever have our own house, and be happy with where we're at?? Or will we always be moving every year???

I know the best answer is to pray, and yet I feel like I can't. I feel like I need Lacey, like I need my mom, like I need someone that can talk to me, that will know what i'm going through... I need my cousin Sharon, cuz I know she can help me, but I don't have her number. Why is it when you need someone the most, no one is there for you???

And yes, we're trying to get you pictures of the girls up on the blog. Ian packed up the cords for the USB cable to hook the camera up to the computer, so you'll have to wait even longer. Sorry....

My love to all.....

July ups and downs, and another weight update

Ok, so after me venting on Facebook these past couple days, I think i'm good. We have had some trials come through, but we've also been blessed. On Saturday we had a truck back into us in the parking lot of our apartment complex. He told us that he wasn't looking and didn't see us, but that he would take care of everything. We exchanged information and went on our way after taking pictures. On Sunday I called the insurance and turned in the report of the accident, and on Monday we found out the driver of the truck is not insured. Our insurance told us that because we have uninsured motorist coverage, that they will still be able to compensate us for our losses, and that the driver of the truck will need to pay the insurance company back. We took it in for inspection yesterday, and found out there's at least $1600 in damage just from that "small dent" that he created when he hit us. Ian was able to get a rental car for free (courtesy of our insurance policy coverage) and now we have a rental through Monday, at the very least. We got a call this morning and found out that now there's at least $2200 in damage. So, there's about $2200 in damage, plus the $500 deductible that he owes since he's uninsured, plus the replacement of McKenna's car seat.

We also had a small set back this morning when we woke up and opened our blinds to our patio. We discovered that our cans and bottles were missing. We had 4 Garbage Bags FULL of them, and then 2 grocery bags full of cans and bottles. We got mad, tried to figure out who would do this to us, then exercised it off. After exercising, eating breakfast and getting dressed, we went over to the apartment office and talked to the manager. She is letting us out of our lease a month early (our lease was up Sept. 30 and now we'll be out August 31). I'm excited to be moving sooner, and hopefully have a new place where Hunter and McKenna can play on the park. The park we have outside our door continues to be graffitied, and I don't feel right letting Hunter play on it. I know that you'll always have problems of some kind wherever you live, but I also know that enough is enough. When it comes to vandalism and stealing, you shouldn't have to put up with that, no matter where you live.

We're excited to be moving sooner, and save on gas for when Ian starts school on August 23. I'm excited that I got the job at Sears, and we will have more income coming in now. I'm also excited for Ian and I's weight loss. Here's the stats:

Ian BMI: 31.00
Ian weight: 228.8

Jenn BMI: 30.95
Jenn weight: 168.2

That's a total weight loss for Ian of 11.2 lbs since we got married 4 years ago, but a total weight loss of 31.2 lbs since we started the Wii Fit in February. When I met Ian, he was a size 40 jeans and a size XL shirt. Now he's in a size 38 jeans, and a size Large shirt. There really is a HUGE difference in the two of us.... It really does work, if you use it in coordination with the healthy lifestyle and correct food choices. Who knew losing weight could be fun???

I have lost another 3 lbs or so since I last posted, but I'm down 21.8 lbs since we started in February. Every step counts. I am now in a size 12 shorts/pants, and in a size large shirt. When I met Ian, I was in a size 14 pants and a size XL shirt, and I weighed 8 lbs less than my current weight. Interesting how that works out...

I should be posting pictures of the girls this afternoon. Stay tuned...

Job interview

Yep, I have a job interview on Saturday for Sears. It is for part time hours, and only minimum wage ($8/hr), but it would be something steady. Hopefully, because of the experience that I have with the company, it will give me more hours. Also, with the holidays right around the corner, the hours will go up. Yes, it scares me to work Black Friday again (I don't do well physically waking up early in the morning), but we would be living closer to the mall by then.

As far as the weight goes, I am at: BMI - 31.36 and weight of 170.0. I have only lost .8 lbs since my last post, but I also have been going up and down due to not watching what i'm eating. I have vowed to get back on track, so I can still be down to 160 at the end of summer (1.5 months).

Look for more posts where I will hopefully put up pictures of McKenna's teeth (she is working on 3, 4 and 5 right now) and a video of her walking. Sarah, thanks for leaving comments. I appreciate reading them, and it makes it easier to update since no one else leaves comments.

Placer County Fair and weight update

Here are the sheep that were being shown at the Placer County Fair, and the kids from 4H would place them in contests. It was interesting to see young kids at work caring for their animals.
Hunter wearing her Home Depot apron with her name on it, her sunglasses, and her new butterfly wings from a balloon artist. The apron and the butterfly wings were free, and the sunglasses she already owned.
Here is McKenna playing in the pool of water that was in this playland for kids to play in. It was free and allowed parents to let their kids get cool, do some coloring, and enjoy being a kid, without paying for rides...
Here is Hunter "watering" the pool. She loved this playland and her and McKenna were the only ones in it for 20 min.

Yesterday we went to the Placer County Fair, since it was free parking (if you parked on the street) and free admission. We spent 2 hours there, and only spent $15. We didn't buy any food or drinks (we ate before we left, and brought snacks and drinks for all of us in our bags), and only played 1 game at the booths. Ian LOVES turtles, and since I wasn't able to get him a Father's Day present, I thought I would let him play for this turtle. He got it cheaper at the fair than he would've if I would've bought it for him for Father's Day. Then we got him a glass Superman block, that you put on a light base, and it lights up the picture inside. It's pretty neat. I'll have to take a picture of it and put it on here.

As for a weight update, my BMI is 31.35 and my weight is 170.8. I'm slowly going down, and I hope to be 160 before the end of summer. As for the work situation, I am still on call at the law firm, going in to work for 3 hours in the morning on Ian's days off, or on the days when he works nights. This makes it so we are not paying for childcare, or using up lots of gas since it's still close to where we live.

Summer days

I've been home for 2 weeks now, with no work. I'm starting to get bored being home, yet when I'm working, I long for a day off. How does that work?

June is almost gone, and then July will be here. Our lease is up October 1 (we thought it was up Sept. 1, since we moved in Sept. 4), and we HAVE to be out of here. I REFUSE to bring my parents to this complex when they come to visit. I don't even like having in-laws come over. We can clean the place like crazy, and it still seems trashy and not homey. Oh well, here's to hoping I get a good job soon...

Ian's work is doing well, in fact, he'll be working more day shifts, thanks to an assistant manager that started whining, and now she'll be on nights. It will be nice to have him home for dinner.

The girls are growing up like crazy. McKenna has 2 teeth (take a picture when I can get a good one), and she is starting to take steps. Ian even has a pair of pink sandals on clearance for her at work that will be $10 after discount. I think he's getting a little excited to be buying shoes for the girls.

Well, that's all for now. Will update when I have more to talk about.

Almost there

I exercised this morning while Ian was still sleeping, then weighed myself on the Wii Fit (I do love that it serves 2 purposes). I lost more weight.

I am now: 171.6 lbs and BMI is 31.60. A BMI of 29 will put me in the overweight category and no longer in the obese category. According to the Wii Fit, I only have to lose another 9 lbs. Let's get going....

Ok, so I finished my last 2 weeks of work, and am now job hunting. I will be applying at RC Willey (have a longtime friend of my parents that works there) and Babies R Us (saw that they were hiring when I was there today). Then, I will also be meeting with my case worker to see if he has any job listings for me. Hopefully something will come soon so we have a better place to bring my parents to in October. Honestly, i'm ashamed to have them stay here, so it is my goal to be in a new place by October 1st at the latest.

Hunter's artwork

Here is Hunter displaying the flower that Ian made me for mother's day out of balloons,



and then displaying her tub artwork. We bought her crayons that are specially made for the tub, so they wipe off. She decided to draw some tonight while she was taking a bath. Enjoy!!!!!!

Weight Loss

Ok, so my friend/sister (she's close enough to be a sister, and her younger brother I call my brother) told me that I should post pictures of my weight loss. I don't know if you can see since it's so far away (maybe if you compare it with the professional pictures we had done at Christmas or this spring that are also on my blog), but here are my results so far:

Starting weight in February 2010: 190
Current weight 05-14-10: 174.6

Starting BMI (Body Mass Index): 36.9
Current BMI: 32.13

On the Wii Fit Plus, it measures both of these, which is the only way that I know how much my BMI is. My goal for right now is to reach BMI of 29, which would take me out of the OBESE category. I believe that's another 10-20 lbs down.

Love you Lacey!!!!!!!!!

Bubble gun

Here's Hunter with her new bubble gun that she got from her grandparents for Mother's Day. I guess they had seen a boy with one at the fair the day before, but the fair didn't have any left. So, they went on a hunt at Target to find one, and found one for her. Enjoy!!!!!

Guest bathroom

Here is the guest bathroom.

Master bedroom

The prior post of the girl's bedroom is the other floor plan. I will post a new one that will show you their bedroom. It's the same, except the window is set up differently and the closet is bigger/deeper. For now, here's the master bedroom that Ian and I will have. On the sides, you notice 2 closets, and then the master bath, and yes, there is a ceiling fan in our room too (even if it's not in the video). Enjoy!!!

Girl's bedroom

This video is of the girl's bedroom. Yes, that's a walk-in closet and yes, that's a ceiling fan. ONE of the many reasons why we like it...

Comments, please...

Back patio. Hopefully this gives you an idea of how long and how big it is.
This is the dining room. The deck comes in, so it cuts out on wall space, but it will work for us to still have our table, chairs and be able to sit down.
Part of the kitchen. This is the first place we've seen that we can afford that has faux granite counter tops, built in microwave, and oak cupboards. It also has double the counter and cupboard space of what we have now. Plus, the appliances are updated.
Here's the other half of the kitchen, which has the freezer with ice maker (we don't have that now), and more room in the fridge since it's bigger than what we have now.
Here is the master bedroom. It's a bad picture, but it's bigger than this.

Mother's Day

Here she is discovering her cupcake.
Hm, this frosting is pretty good.

What??? You told me to eat the cupcake.
This is for taking tons of pictures of me.
McKenna looking at grandma...
She has a frosting moustache.

Yep, I think she enjoyed it. Happy Birthday, McKenna. I love you and look forward to more moments with you.

McKenna's 1 yr birthday

Sadly we didn't take our camera to her 1 yr. birthday party, so you will have to wait until I can get pictures from other family members. I did take some pictures on my cell phone of her and her cupcake, so we'll see if I can get those loaded. She enjoyed the cupcake, and needed a bath at my grandparents because she had it so bad all over her. The rest of the party was nice, and it was nice to enjoy the weather outside and talking to family I haven't seen since February.

Here are some pictures I did capture, though, of her a couple nights ago. Look for an update in a couple days of what we've been up to.

Hunter

Cute pictures that I took of Hunter tonight.

Pink eye :(

Sunday we were at church, and Hunter was brought into Sunday School from the nursery leader. She said her forehead was warm and she wasn't feeling well. She also had a runny nose. McKenna has bad allergies right now, so we figured Hunter had allergies as well. Hunter didn't want to stay with us in class and she didn't get why she couldn't go back to nursery. I took her out into the hall and tried to get her calmed down. She started crying so hard, she hyperventilated, started gagging and I ran her to the couple of yards down the hall to the bathroom. She made it into the bathroom and almost to the toilet. I had to clean up a little bit on the tile floor but the most of it was in the toilet. Poor girl :(. So, I got her all cleaned up and went and got Ian from Sunday School. I explained to him that we needed to take her home because she had thrown up. We went to get McKenna from a friend of ours who takes her to their Sunday School class, and then went home. We made a quick stop to CVS down the street to get a thermometer, and found this: forehead strips that take your temperature. She fell asleep on the way home, so we took her inside and got her changed. We decided to take her to Ian's parents for family dinner, but warn them that she wasn't feeling well. That night as we were there, she started getting gunk in her eyes. Not thinking anything of it, we went home after we were done visiting. It got worse as the night went on and was bad the next morning. Her eye was swollen and she continued to get gunk. We took her to the doctor and found out:

She has pink eye. So, I called into work and stayed home with Hunter and McKenna, but not before going to CVS to get the drops. She laid down on the couch most of the day, and only threw up after having lunch. We kept her on bland foods (bread, pancake, crackers, etc), and she slept on the rocking chair that night. Tuesday morning came and she was doing better, so I went in to work to make up some hours. Ian was off, so he was home with the girls. I got off around 1:00, then we went and ran errands. We were at Kohl's and looked at McKenna's eyes and....

She has pink eye. Go figure :(. So, we started her on the drops and kept on our way running errands. We went to the grocery store, then to Ian's parents house to drop the groceries off, then off to the mall to meet them there. We enjoyed some shopping at the mall, then went back to his parents for dinner and came home. McKenna slept all through the night, only waking up once to get a bottle. I called into work again this morning since McKenna is contagious. I am hoping Ian and I don't get this pink eye since we can't miss any more work. We need to be saving up money and getting ready for the summer.

Look for pictures of this Sunday when we celebrate McKenna's birthday with the family.

New hi-lites

Oh, I made i-spy kits a couple weeks ago with a sister in our ward, who just happens to be the bishop's wife. We had a blast and I got to know her even better and found out we have a lot more in common than I thought.

I got new hi-lites done yesterday (first ones in my whole life). Let me know what you think. I love them, and am grateful to the lady in our ward who did them in exchange for service work. I love her salon and her work that she does for others.

Not much new going on. Still narrowing down the list of places that we are considering to move to when our lease is up. I'm praying that we can stay in the ward, but probably won't happen since rental houses normally want 3 times the rent to qualify, and we'd only be making 2 times the rent :(. Hopefully we can find a complex that gives us a backyard or BIG patio of some kind. Otherwise, I don't know what we'll do. Hunter needs room to run around...

Trying to keep my blog updated more often. Ian is down 16 pounds since we started hard core in February. I'm down 11, but I know that girls lose it slower than guys do. I'll try to send pictures later of our progression when I'm happier with how I look....

April.... enough said

March came and went and I only blogged once. I swear one of these days, I'll get the hang of blogging more often. March was busy with us enjoying the missionaries (yep, still the same ones since December) for dinner, drop by visits to check up on us, work, school and taking care of the girls.

April is here and already half gone. We celebrated Easter morning here at home enjoying conference and then had Ian's parents over for dinner. McKenna and Hunter opened their baskets when they woke up, and I think Hunter was more excited with her stuff, then McKenna was since McKenna is still too little. She's getting bigger though and will get the concept next year, definitely.




I'm in the 3rd trimester of school and will be done June 4th. I'll finish my internship middle of May and will stay with the company until I find something different. I am looking to go into financial services of some kind (bank teller), or be a receptionist at a medical office which I would love too.

Ian is still working at Famous Footwear and should be starting to work days in the next couple of weeks. This will be easier on us as he'll be home for dinner and be able to spend more time with the girls.

Ian is prepping to go to a sleep study for his sleep apnea on the 20th. He'll get there at 7:00 P.M. and will get 8 hours of sleep. They have you go to sleep between 9-10:30 as it's an 8 hour sleep study and everyone must be out of the office by 7:00 in the morning. They will hook him up to monitors the first 4 hours of the night, then hook him up to a sleeping mask the last 4 hours of the night to see how he sleeps. It will be interesting to see how well he sleeps, and how long it takes before he's able to get into the doctor to get a sleep mask. I'll be grateful (and I know he will too) when he's sleeping better as he'll wake up earlier (sleeps for 10 hours now and still groggy), happier, and wanting to do more activities with the girls without getting headaches as easily. Hopefully this will help his body aches too as he'll be sleeping better, and I know sleep has something to do with body aches.

Look for more updates as Ian goes to his sleep study, I get blonde highlights (yes, I said blonde), and McKenna turns 1 (YIKES!!!!!!)

Where did February go?

Here we are in March and I'm trying to figure out where February went. It was filled with Valentines Day, Ian's first month of working, Hunter's birthday and me staying busy with school and work. It's been a busy month and March will be over before we know it, too.

So, we filed our taxes, got our federal return back (still need to file IA state since we didn't file CA state with only a $4 refund electronically). We paid some much overdue bills and went from $21,000 in debt to just under $8,000. That was only 2 credit cards too. We settled for a heck of a deal on both credit cards. It would've been $8,000 to settle alone on the 2, and instead we only paid $3500. We also bought a much needed computer and I am so enjoying it. Thanks so much to my dad for his patience as we spent countless hours looking at Best Buy, online, Fry's Electronics and finally stumbling upon something at Fry's.

We hit a milestone this month. This was the first month since we moved away from IA that we have paid rent on our own without the help of the church. Though finances are tight this week, i feel good. Let's hope that it continues. This month is also the month that we go off of state aid, so we're on our own. No more food stamps, no more cash aid for help with rent. Let's pray that things go well as we continue to pay tithing.

Hunter's birthday

Hunter looking pretty for the camera.
Here are some of the presents that she got, and her cupcake cake.
Her cupcake cake courtesy of Safeway bakery. Hunter picked it out herself, and wanted it to say "Happy 3rd Birthday, Princess Hunter". She even picked out the coloring of the floaties and the writing.
Here she is watching us as we sing to her.
Still waiting. Ian didn't get a pic of her blowing the candles out.
Hunter got a snare drum with a strap to go around her neck, a tamborine, harmonica, and one other music thing (that pink thing next to the tamborine).
Here I am showing the people on the couch her new Dora dress.
Here's a spring hoodie that she got from aunt Leslie and uncle Kelly.
Summer top for this summer. It has a chick on it and says "Sweet Chick".
Here's another hoodie, only in orange.
Here's 1 of the 2 pairs of shoes that she got for her birthday.
Sock monkey won everyone over, including her.
Here's some pj's from Aunt Karsten and Uncle David. It says "Dance, Smile, Dream"
Here's another set of pj's. She's going to be 1 styling girl, that's for sure. Everyone asked what she wanted for her b-day, and I said clothes. Boy, did Hunter have a fun time opening all of the clothes.
Lastly, a cookie monster HUGE coloring book with stickers in it. It's pretty tall, and she loves it.

All in all, it was a good birthday, and we even showed up and had a surprise visit from Aunt Patricia and Uncle Steven, who are in town from San Jose area for a week.